How to talk about home buying with your partner

Agreeing on what restaurant to grab carry out from can be a struggle between partners. What about what movie to watch? Will it be sports or sitcoms? It seems impossible to find two people who agree all the time, I don’t even know many who agree most of the time—after all, we each have our own preferences. So, when it comes to something as monumental as buying a home together, there are daily opportunities to argue but it doesn’t have to be that way. We have some tips to make the home buying process something that brings you closer together rather than divide you.

By having a few conversations you and your partner will be better prepared for making decisions throughout your home buying experience. So, before you have the first conversation with a realtor or mortgage banker, talk to your partner ensuring clear communication from the start; there are enough hurdles to jump when home buying, you certainly don’t need to create more between the two of you. Start by asking, do we both want to do this and why? Once you are certain that you and your partner are on the same page and each understand the motives behind the desires, then you can both be confident that you are working towards the same goal. Another positive? If either of you starts to get overwhelmed by the process the other can remind you of why you wanted to buy a home in the first place.

Another conversation to have, albeit not as easy as the first one, is centered around both individuals’ financial situations. Are there any red flags that could arise when looking into financing? Some couples know everything about the other’s financial history while others may not have addressed credit card debt, student loans, bad credit history, etc. When going through the mortgage approval process these items, as well as job history and even divorces are going to be brought up to ensure the lender has a full understanding of each borrower’s history. If you and your partner discuss this up front then there will be no surprises further down the road when there could be more at stake, like the house you have both fallen in love with.

Speaking of getting the mortgage, how do each of you foresee the home buying process going? Will one person take point on getting the information to the mortgage banker? If so, who will that be? What about contacting the realtor? Will that be the same person? Determining up front who will be the point person on different aspects of the home buying process will keep the other from possibly feeling railroaded or that he or she is being brushed aside. Additionally, if there are concerns about each other’s communication styles be sure to share them now instead of allowing the anxiety to build throughout the home buying process.

Having clear, open communication will not make the process stress free but it will help reduce the potential stress of buying a home together. Once you have had this discussion and are ready to start looking for your future home together, you will want to discuss where you want to live, what kind of house you want, and things of that nature. We have created a conversation guide that includes a list of questions to get to the bottom of what you and your partner both want! You can download the conversation guide for free by clicking here. When you are ready to find that house you can make a home, we would love to help you find the best financing to fit your all’s needs!

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